The hoped-for tomorrow

In today's episode, you'll find our heroine:

-Sleeping for a 4 hour stretch: Heaven!

-Rejoicing that the whole-house is fever free, 24 hours before departure!

-Relishing that the baby took a 2-hour nap while the older two enjoyed our gorgeous sunshine in the back yard.

Our blooper reel includes:

-A trail of pee from the back door all the way to the bathroom, followed by screaming about a caterpillar.

-Making do with the wrong-size diapers for baby - what's a little pee down the leg anyway?

-Yet another ordered dinner. 

All this and more! Order your hoped-for tomorrow, today! 

When it's been "one of those days"... for a week.

I remember the first time my beautiful little San Francisco girl got sick. She was almost 10 months old (I know, I was super lucky I got to put it off that long!) and the poor thing was miserable. Fortunately for me, and unfortunately for them, it landed perfectly in sync with a visit from my fantastic in-laws, who were able to assist with doctor visits, rocking and cheering up a grumpy baby, and letting me rest when I inevitably also got sick.

Fast forward a few years, and we've had many sicknesses come through our family. This year has been the worst by far! You'd think by now I'd be a pro at it, but every time illness hits our family, I feel like I'm a stationary bike - constantly in motion, and not getting anywhere.

This week has been tough, not the toughest ever, but tough. I've realized that something doesn't have to be the hardest thing you've ever experienced to be tough. Having all 3 babies sick in various stages, and reacting differently, is a juggling act that requires a ton of patience. Have I mentioned patience is a struggle of mine?

The hardest one for me this week has been the baby. EBE (Easiest baby ever) has not been living up to her title this week. The poor thing has been feverish, having tummy trouble, and terrible diaper rash. This all adds up to a baby who takes close to an hour to put to sleep because she's so uncomfortable, but only can stay asleep for 30-45 minutes at a time. *Cue insane music.* It's been a. long. week.

There's a light at the end of the tunnel! My son came down sick first, and is mostly back to good health today, so hopefully his sisters will soon follow suit. That doesn't negate today, though. Sometimes I have hard days, hard weeks, and lose patience. Sometimes (maybe more than sometimes!) it feels like there's not enough mommy to go around. And the balancing act is holding those valid emotions, acknowledging the struggle, and letting yourself embrace it - while never losing sight of the hope that is tomorrow.

New beginnings!

In the process of dusting off long-forgotten portions of my life, trying to rediscover the corners of myself that have been in the shadows for far too long, I stumbled upon this blog. At first glance, I thought it was time to start over - afterall, the mom that started this blog only had one baby! She hadn't bought a house, birthed a second child, survived post partum depression, homebirthed a third child, or made an entirely new and wonderful support network in her new home. How could what I'd written before all of that life lived possibly connect to my current surroundings?

I drafted a new blog post, welcoming my readers into my new life as a professional not-perfect-at-momming mom. Then, just for fun, I decided to re-read my first post on this blog.

It was eerily like looking in the mirror but seeing a younger version of myself. I even phrased many things the exact same way. I decided to re-read the rest of my previous posts, which led me to where you and I are sitting right now. Not only does the progression fit, but I even found myself gaining inspiration from my past-self!

It might be messy and unpredictable. It might not follow a schedule, and it will likely not involve Pinterest. But you're always welcome to sit and stay a while. Let's rediscover our love of a relaxing cup of tea together!

Oh, right... I have a blog!

Well, blog, this is awkward. How long have you been standing there...?

Perhaps I can make it up to you with a new post! Things have been... a little chaotic since last we spent time together. Since then, Evan and I got pregnant, I was sick and disappeared from most of society for about 2.5 months, Evan successfully started, ran, and completed a long distance job search to Seattle, we moved up north, daughter and I went to my brother's wedding, she learned to walk, talk and transition to a big girl bed, and got all four molars all at once (the week of the move, of course) and now we're busy prepping for our son's arrival in March! It's been a whirlwind of activity, sickness, sleepless nights, and a heck of a lot of work. (and fun!)

In all of this, I'm sad to say that nap time ended up being used for just about anything but blogging. Packing, organizing, planning, cleaning... and occasionally even sleeping when I could. Funny thing about parenting - free time is the hardest thing to come by, and still the first thing to go when time is cut short. But, thanks to the hard work of my husband, and the eventual dwindling of the "Oh my goodness these things needed to get finished two weeks ago!!!" list we've been working on, balance is finally starting to reappear.

I've had so many thoughts over the past few months that I've wanted to turn into blog posts, but unfortunately time and (especially) poor mommy memory has faded most of these ideas into broken fragments. Some of them may come back to me, but in the meantime, I think I'll just pick up writing again about the here and now. After all, who wants to spend their free time playing catch up? ;)

So, I'll write about waiting. Waiting is hard! Patience is a virtue and all, but sometimes I fail to be a very virtuous person.

December contains so many feasts and celebrations and opportunities for prayer. I love that the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe falls during Advent, because it's such a neat way of reflecting on that unique image of Mary; fully in tune with God's very will, right within her womb. Waiting. This has been my second pregnant Advent. Even though most days it's easier for me to reflect on the challenges of pregnancy rather than the joys, uniting my experience to Mary and knowing that she experienced the same period of waiting, aches and pains and all, actually helps me to focus more on the spiritual joy of Advent. Waiting for the Christ-child. I know every mother experiences pregnancy differently, and for some women it is physically and emotionally a joyful experience. Unfortunately, I fall into the category of needing to find it an emotionally joyful experience, and some days I do better at that than others. My (least) favorite phrase I've been told by midwives and OBs alike is that the cure for X problem I'm experiencing is giving birth. More waiting.

And so, like Mary, I wait. I am SO excited to meet our son in March. For every ache and pain and nausea I experienced with our daughter, it was all as nought the moment she was born. I was instantly blown away by the miracle of her tiny little life resting on my chest. My life has never been the same. I know that the moment he is born, no part of the hard journey getting there will matter in the slightest. And just as our earthly life is merely practice, preparing us for our eternal home, I know that these challenges and this waiting for the joyful arrival of my son is but a mere blip in comparison to the joy that awaits us in Him. It's Gaudete Sunday! The day to rejoice as we remember Who it is that we are waiting for. There is no greater love, no greater prize, than to be united with Him who loved us into our very existence. And so, we wait. Not with tears and with sackcloth, but with joyful hope in our Savior! Happy Gaudete Sunday everyone!

Natural Family Planning - not your grandmother's Rhythm Method.

Although July did not turn out to be the blogging month I had hoped for (more on that later), I started this post last week as part of the Catholic Church's Natural Family Planning awareness week. Better late than never!

Science is a beautiful, wonderful, amazing thing. The more scientists discover about how the human body, the world, and the universe work, the more questions get asked, and the more answers get discovered! The coolest thing to me about learning is every time I absorb something new, it makes me realize how many more things out there I don't know. Evan and I are totally geeking out about the reboot of Cosmos scheduled to start sometime in 2014. But, I digress...

The reason why NFP (Natural Family Planning) isn't the ol' Rhythm Method is simple. Science! We've discovered so much about the female reproductive system and fetal development, and one of the biggest takeaways is this: Every woman is unique. The Rhythm Method didn't work well simply because it was assuming that every woman's menstrual cycle was identical. (As an aside, the medical field still uses this assumption to predict baby due dates, which is at least partly responsible for why my OB told me only 5% of children are born on their "due date.") The truth is, women naturally have a cycle that includes menstruation, at least one infertile period, and a fertile period leading up to and including ovulation.* The exact timing of each, however, is different for different women.

So, if every woman is unique, then every NFP relationship is going to be unique. I highly recommend taking a class from an instructor who will work with you one on one. All Catholic marriage prep classes include some kind of NFP overview, but that's not what I'm talking about here. If you want this to be a reliable method (and, when used correctly, NFP is 99% effective - which, glossing over Planned Parenthood's ignorance regarding Natural Family Planning, is more effective than pretty much any method they advertise other than sterilization,) then you need to know how your body, and your cycle, tick. The beauty of learning it during marriage preparation is it takes at least a few cycles to figure out what you're doing, no matter what method** you choose. Once you start to recognize your body's cues, the charting becomes much easier. Our Marquette Method class was awesome, and after over 3 years, I still contact my instructor from time to time with questions.

I'll be honest - Even though I continue to use it because it just makes sense, I first looked into Natural Family Planning because of my Catholic faith. It's impossible for me to talk about it without at least mentioning the spiritual benefits it provides to my marriage, as well as the incredible graces it gives us with our family. My husband's love for me as a whole person, not treating my natural fertility like something that is wrong with me, something that should be ignored and intentionally shut down, is an amazing gift I wish every woman could experience. It constantly improves our communication, keeps us consistently discussing our family goals, and makes sex not just a shared pleasure, but also a shared responsibility. When you don't take each other, or your time together, for granted, amazing things happen. The openness to life is also a little bit of "dying to self." If kids were easy, cheap, and convenient, a lot more people would have a lot more of them. The truth is, you can't be selfish as a parent. You've got things beyond yourself to worry about. And through challenge comes our best growth.

I've really only touched the surface here. So many people wrote amazing posts last week about all the many benefits of NFP: of the one's I've read, this one by The Messy Wife is my favorite. For anyone who wants more information, feel free to contact me. If I don't have the answers, we'll find someone who does!

NFP isn't always easy. But it's always worth it.


*As I'm not an NFP expert or a certified NFP instructor, I can't speak for specific cases where this would not be true. I am unfamiliar with with PCOS or other conditions that affect female fertility, and obviously this statement does not apply to women outside of their fertile years (either prepubescent or post-menopausal). However, the use of NFP to chart cycles (rather than just taking the pill that will mask symptoms, for example) can help many women who have serious irregularities and fertility issues to be properly diagnosed and treated. 

** There are many NFP methods available, which makes it easier than ever to pick one that fits your lifestyle. Want to be as green and low-impact on the environment as possible, using only your body? Try The Billings Ovulation Method. Want a simple, easy way to keep track with widely available instruction? Try Couple to Couple League. Want to use the latest technology to insure the most accurate results, without as much room for human error? Try The Marquette Method!